Saturday, May 30, 2009

Release

I have found that blogging is my release. It reveals a lot I could never actually say to someone, or anyone. It shows the kind of person I have inside, regardless of whether my readers will ever meet me. I speak what's inside instead of forming into everyone else's opinion.\

I used to write in another blog site (livejournal.com) awhile back, and as I went back reading all of my inner thoughts and feelings, I felt that way again, remembering where I was and how I felt when I wrote those and all the things going through my mind. I couldn't believe how naive, innocent, and untouched I was. I had not experienced all the heartbreak, tragedy, two-faced people I have now. Of course, I'm referring to entries written when I was in high school and the beginning college years. So much has changed in just a couple years. Sometimes I wish I could go back and be able to see it from an outsider's view of all my actions/decisions I made back then, and see what other people saw of me. How different I appeared than in my own head. How different one little change could have made my life. . .

A lot of my views have changed and I realize the changing moments, but I always wonder whether I fell or was tricked into believing something or liking something based on the people around me. I wonder what kind of influences they had on my life, and if I came to really like something or if it was all in my head.

Blogging helps me release my thoughts that may not seem so clear when they all come together in my mind. I am able to sort through them all, by subject, by topic, by feeling on here and I appreciate getting feedback. I love reading someone else's blog revealing their feelings towards something and realizing to myself "Wow, I'm not alone in feeling that way, or I'm not crazy for feeling that way." It's comforting to know I'm not a crazy person alone in their own little world sometimes.

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