Monday, July 6, 2009

The Funny Side Of Me

An anonymous reader of mine has mentioned that almost every single blog of mine is regarding something serious, whether it's from the past, present, or future, in my life.

"I wanna see the funny Lee!" Well....not sure I can show it through a blog but here goes ........something..........

Most of you that know me face to face know I'm a klutz, incredibly goofy, and slap-happy sometimes, but there is also a very serious side. I try not to make everything so serious, but lately I feel I'm more serious than anything, and I'm not so sure if that's a good thing. I have responsibilities and everything pertaining to keeping everything level, stable and not going into debt, and not getting bad credit, but I lose my way sometimes in all the madness it feels like.

Sometimes I think I have been growing up too fast, I grew up too fast, and took on too much too soon for myself. Most of my friends moved home for awhile after college whereas I got a full time job 3 months after, and ended up moving out on my own a few months after I had saved up some money. Most were able to save up a lot more and think more clearly into what they wanted and where they wanted to be. Sometimes I think I moved too fast in wanting to be out there on my own, for the wrong reasons. I rushed a lot back then and now I can't necessarily take it back.

I'm not this serious person all the time. I make the silliest, stupidest comments, sometimes without thinking first. It's just my infamous lee moments people have called them. Even my own mother has said "I can't believe you weren't born blonde!"(no offense to blondes out there) but, it's just a saying.

I hit my head on all sorts of things, everyone has gotten used to it. It's just this unintentional thing I seem to do all the time. Don't even know why. I don't understand half the things my body does, like random falling when I had my balance a second ago. I don't even ask myself or even God these questions anymore haha.

I know when to be serious but I can also be a big kid. I despise when people call me an old lady or say I act like I'm all grown up when I'm still young, at 24, and learning to find my own way. It is difficult when you have so many aspirations and yet money seems to control everything you do: where you eat, what you eat, how much you eat, where you go, how much gas you use, bills to pay, credit cards to pay off, other debt to pay off, every month. It sucks me in sometimes and I let it affect everything else. It's affected my moods, and that affects everything else because I get depressed thinking about how I want to change jobs to save money on gas, to be closer to where I live, yet with the economy the way it is, that doesn't really help.

Overall, I want everyone to know that what comes through my blogs isn't all I think about day to day. There are certain serious topics that may cross my mind and I write it down thinking it would make a good blog and turns out, it usually does. And A lot of people have something to say about it. I love how people are reading me and can relate to me. it's the best feeling.