Monday, October 20, 2008

06.07.08

It is quite interesting how one night can change your life. . . . 06.07.08 did it for me.

Finding your perfect match, never having to question or doubt anything when it comes to them, finding your best friend, waking up everyday knowing that they feel exactly the same way that you do about them.........

This past year in my life has been a puzzled, yet amazing one, and I can't go back and change anything I did. I used to think about life so negatively, worrying and stressing over anything, doubting/questioning a lot of my moves/actions/words, and, the past few months have calmed me down. Not only was someone simply amazing brought into my life, but he has changed me in ways I never thought were possible. I never expected to meet someone like him, and to be shown the things I have been in the short amount of time I have, but I have to say it is very possible.

Other people have shown me about myself, but it always was in a negative light, and I tried so hard to see the positives, but they never came out on top. This person has shown me the best about myself, rather than bringing me down, or building me up. . . to nothing in the end.

My views on many different things in life have changed, been altered, and, I have stopped judging people. Life is a precious gift we cannot take for granted. The influence I have brought onto other people's lives lately has definitely shown me how much someone can let you into their world, and, lighten it up, and allow you to see the better things in life, rather than the dark sides to everything.

There's no need in worrying/stressing over things; you can't change what has already happened, but you can change what will happen in the future. Take control of what you need to, and move on. Sitting and dwelling on the issue won't make things any better, so why do it? I have become better about it and people around me have noticed it, which makes me feel even better about how I'm handling my matters.

Love is a feeling one can't describe. It is something that not only you feel and see but everyone around you can see & feel as well. For the first time I have understood the meaning of how deep love can go, and how it should be. I have been mistaken in the past as to what I deserved, and what I may have to settle for based on my history of things, but I was wrong. This is an indescribable feeling I hope everyone can experience someday. I wasn't looking for it when it stumbled upon me, and I would never do anything to risk losing it.

I have been in relationships before, and I have loved and lost, yet this type of love is one of a kind & unique, rare to come across. Not only do I see it, but everyone around us see & feel it too, and that makes it feel even more amazing. No one is perfect but I never imagined there being someone as perfect for me as the man I have found. I can't say anything bad about him or our relationship and, things keep getting better each and every day.

In the short amount of time we have been together, we have experienced so many things not many couples EVER experience in their time together. These struggles and life lessons have definitely made our relationship stronger and brought us closer as a couple, and with our families as well, in the best ways possible. I couldn't ask for anything more than what I have right now because I have it all.
Monday, October 6, 2008

Life

It's been over a month since I've blogged and, I can't believe it. I used to be so keen on updating this every week or so, with long posts about what's been going on, and believe you me, this will be quite a long post. So much has happened since I was last on here.

I don't have any doubts with Mike, although I'm a girl, so I'll have them from time to time. Being the curious person I am, he left his phone a couple times just laying around while out running an errand and didn't think I'd snoop because I haven't really cared to, but I have twice. He sent a message to an ex saying "I love you and miss you" but I can tell it's in a friendly manner. I've seen texts after that saying how much I've changed him in the best way possible and how I've made him realize how precious relationships are, and he doesn't want to be going from girl to girl anymore. He wants to settle down, and grow up. He's got his priorities straight since being with me. Amazing words from the man I love and I'm glad I found them. It cleared up all these doubts I had in my head and I'm curious about his most recent ex, but she's so much younger and he's explained to me their relationship a few times, and, I understand. I love people I was dating, but it's a different kind of love. He's staying with me for a bit longer, but eventually moving back home. I'm moving back home after my lease is up I've finally decided. I've got bills and credit cards to pay off and I don't want to have to be worrying and stressing so much over money anymore. I want to become financially stable and moving home will allow me to do that for myself. Stressing and worrying isn't good for my health.

Speaking of health, I came down with a bad kidney infection, and had a kidney stone along with it. I was in the hospital for a few days, and so those medical bills will becoming in and I'm wanting to help pay for those, although my parents will probably take care of it all. When I move home I want to be able to take on all my bills including school loans, car insurance, car payments, the title of my car, etc. I want to be able to handle everything to do with my life on my own. I am trying to become very independent from my parents, and it is something that I'm going to have to discuss with them once I move home. It's an issue that's been bothering me lately. I feel like my parents try to control a great deal of my life and not let me do it myself. I've come to realize I'm extremely different from them, growing up in a different generation, and it's hard to break to them but I need to take care of everything on my own without their help. I need to grow up and do things on my own. Moving home will allow me to save up $$ and move out sooner than I think probably butI need to get out of debt and feel secure with savings I have before signing another lease/moving out again.

That's my update for now. I'm back to work, today is my first full day back. I'm almost 100% back to normal. I've got some pain from time to time but it's not a great big deal. I'm feeling pretty normal again. . . it feels weird because I haven't been back to work in such a long time. At least the day seems to be going by pretty good so far.

I've come to realize I'm going to stay at this job longer than I thought, because of the benefits and the pay and especially how the economy is worse off than ever, I wouldn't be safe leaving and depending on a newer job now because my pay probably wouldn't be as good, and the benefits probably wouldn't come along with it either.

I hope things look up for me and I'm not stressing/worrying as much about everything going on in my life! :)