Friday, June 19, 2009

Older Blogs

When I go back through my old postings, I feel like I'm reading those of another live. It's so weird going back to the moment I wrote those, and all of the feelings rush back and I can even picture what was going on in my head, on that day, and how I felt to the T. I felt I'd share some with you, whether they're just quotes, personal feelings, or something else. Read on. A lot of you know I had a bad past with a certain someone, and well now that he's out everything seems so much better, but he filled my head with a lot of dark thoughts, and I'm glad those aren't around anymore. The clouds have lifted.

From: 3/28/08:

I'm a big quote fanatic. If I come across one, or more, that really hit home with me, I definitely love sharing them with everyone I know. Some are as follows:

It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up again.

You may not end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where you were meant to be.

Real love is a self-enlarging experience.

Embrace those who love you and whom you love, and rid yourself of those who will only bring you down.

The only people you need in your life are the ones who prove that they need or even want you in theirs....

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.

you have three choices in your life: give up . give in. or give it all you got

sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are and who you want to be.

Things happen for a reason. We may not know it at the time but they can be the best things that happened.

Just look back on,
How far we've come.
We've made it somehow,
Look where we are now.
We learned to open our eyes,
Now I both think we'd agree,
That we're better off than when we started.
And the best is yet to come.
'cause our story isn't done.
All we've done, Our battles won.
~Hoobastank "Look Where We Are"


From: 4/14/08 - A New perspective

Today is the start of a new work week, which I'm not too thrilled about. As each day/week passes, I become more bored and wanting to get out of Charlotte, which is not a good thing. I used to feel excited about coming to work because I enjoyed being around everybody here. Now there's only a few people I really *love* being around, and most of those people are leaving at the end of May/June. I've been here since August, but the next couple of months seem like they'll go by too fast when my boss will be leaving me here, and then another part of me feels it will go by way too slow.......since I'm kind of looking forward to finding a new job, or getting out of town for that matter.

I have a great comfortable, laid-back job, but I should be making more money, and after a stressful last week financially worried over money, I was relieved when I got my tax return over the weekend :) I'm in good shape now. I get paid tomorrow too, so it's like 2 pay checks at once, it's great :)

My sister's 26th birthday was this weekend; I can't believe it. She's as old as the guy I'm seeing....yet I see them in completely diff. lights. . . . . he seems so much more older than her, yet he's actually 4 months younger than her, imagine that. The relationships I have with them are so diff. and I've been through all kinds of experiences with my sister, so, yeah, they're different in my head.

This might be a blog of rambling, but I'm at work, and there's not much going on here.

It has been a great start to a new week, and I'm pleased....I'm stronger than I thought and expected to be, and, I just feel like from here on out, things will just be getting better & better :)

The only downside is Greensboro is not that *HOT* in the music business. I'm starting to come to the reality of my dream and realizing I've tried many different routes to getting my foot in the door to the business, and nothing seems to really be working out. I find myself just kind of looking for areas to make more money and dealing with one of my many interests, but I'm not sure what will work out for me in the end. If I do end up moving to Greensboro, which wouldn't be til the start of next year, I'd have a good little group of friends, and could easily make more, and living seems to be cheaper up there as well. It's a town similar to Charlotte and not that far from where I've grown up so I wouldn't be too far; I could come home and visit with friends & family here whenever. That's something that's attracted me to the spot. I've been visiting up there for some time now and gotten to see that it is a definite possibility for me. We'll see what happens.

My dreams of being in the music business...........if there's anyone that could help me, I'd love it but my hopes are fading........ ______________________________________________________________________________________From: 4/15/08
As I was showering today, as I tend to do everyday haha, a lot of things were going through my mind about how I fought the discouragement I had been feeling earlier today, and fought the tiredness I was feeling after work today and got through it and decided to work out anyways today. I told myself if I skipped one day I'd be feeling like a failure and I thought that to myself and I was like I have the ability to workout, I just don't feel up to it, but my show "One Tree Hill" came on and I thought "I'm just going to work out during the commercials" and I ended up doing that plus completing my 30 min. of cardio once the show as over while listening to music through my digital cable (always motivates me) - music is my passion :)

Then, I thought about the relationship I'm in right now and how far we have come. It's probably very confusing to some of you reading, but I dated this guy 3 years ago, and we've overcome a lot over the years, going through lots of drama and now everything seems to be right> yeah, we have days we don't talk as much and we mostly see eachother on weekends and I won' tbe able to for the next couple of weekends due to family stuff going on, yet things seem really good. If something gets at us or bothers us we don't just shut each other out or get angry wtih eachother, although we may get angry, we talk things outand communicate more so than we ever did before.

I found the perfect way to describe it tonight - We complement each other. Everything he has to offer me, I don't necessarily have or am equipped with and same for him. What he doesn't have, I offer for him. How awesome a feeling is that.

*Boy do I disagree with how I saw things now regarding this posting* - the person I'm with now, we complement each other so far more than that guy EVER did. I feel like I was seriously brainwashed reading back to my old posts about how much I felt for him. Wow do things change. It's only been a year but it feels like a lifetime since I've been back in that trap of a life.