Monday, November 17, 2008

Holiday Season

The holidays are coming, and I'm actually really excited.

I'm in love, and I haven't felt this blessed in quite some time. Some days I don't even know how I got to be this lucky, met someone like Mike, and that God has allowed me to experience love so easily, so young. I know at my age, people have been in and out of long, serious relationships and have experience this feeling numerous times, but not me.

I have been in love 3 times. I questioned whether I was really in love with each and every one of them, but when you know, you just know. I know, looking back, even if I never said the words, to their face, we both knew how we felt about each other and it was a type of love. Each love experience is unique in itself, and, I am who I am because of them. I don't question saying I loved each one of those guys. A part of me always will, no matter what. They have shaped me to be the strong, independent woman I am today. I have low days where I think back to the 'what if's' and my behavior all those times with each one. I can't live in the past, and I'm afraid I do sometimes, thinking too much in the past.

There are a few songs that I have come across that have really made me feel less 'alone' in my relationship experience lately. I've come to terms with how my last relationship really was, rather than how I saw it at the time. It's a sad one, looking back. Any time I get the impulse to try and text or contact him, I stop myself. . . and listen to these songs. Even if they are sad songs, they remind me of how much I should have nothing to do with that certain someone.

Jessica Simpson - "Remember That"
Hinder - "Without You"
Taylor Swift - "White Horse"