Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Passionately Writing

Since I began writing these blogs, I have been torn between why I took such a long break from writing.....why I only write when things are on my mind, and why at times do I blog every day, sometimes more than once a day, and then don't blog for another week?

My boyfriend, Mike, who I have mentioned in previous blogs, has begun a novel of his own. This is not a shock to me. His writing is amazing and I wish I could write like he does, as easy as it comes to him. I have to really plan out what I'm going to write about. Sometimes it flows well, when other times it doesn't. I'm sure everyone has experienced writer's block.

I may know a topic I want to write about, but starting it is always a challenege. I want people to be wrapped up in what I'm sharing, and not falling asleep to it.
These blogs have been helpful in learning how I write, what I'm writing about, and what people like hearing about. I know I'd love to be able to write a novel dealing with my perspective on life, my experiences, but something has to be really attention-grabbing to get anything close to being published these days, right? Or will they just publish anything? haha I don't know how the book world is out there, but I'm guessing some of you may know? I'm not looking to get published. My blogs are for my sharing, my own journal-like thing that is public and I get feedback from. Believe it or not, I get a lot of positive feedback so as to let me know I'm not alone in this world as to how I feel towards certain situations and it makes me feel more at ease and less CRAZY (which is always helpful right?)

I brought back out all my story ideas, all my notes in how I used to write even back in elementary/middle school. Every trip I'd go on with my family I'd take pads of paper, write down unique places I'd see, to use them in future writings, as well as unique names I'd hear and learn about. It was just a hobby of mine. Looking back now I remember picturing my stories as if they were movies, or would-be movies. I'd use characters from some of my favorite movies, and give them different storylines, maybe incorporating what the movies were about that I saw them in, as the characters they were. I skipped the whole screenwriting stage in my head haha. I looked at life more easier back then. I think back to how much I dreamed of being a writer, then how my dreams turned to wanting to be a teacher, then now where I dream of working with music. If anyone watches the show ONE TREE HILL, the way I feel about music is through Peyton's character. That's ME. That's who and how I am. Music is an incredible part of who I am, and helps me through a lot. It's a way I know how to express my feelings, and it just makes everything okay sometimes.

That's an incredible connection Mike and I share, both loving to write and being able to share that passion of music. Every other guy I dated I used to share my passion of music with them, and they never got it. Mike gets it, and me, and that's an incredible feeling I've never had before. I'm so lucky to have him in my life. He motivates me every day with every thing that comes to my mind. He follows me every step of the way with any thought or idea I have and that's something I've always needed and yearned for.

The point of this blog is to share with everyone that I'm considering putting together a book of my own. Not sure what kind of book, maybe a novel, maybe of personal memoirs, maybe a little of both, but I need guidance, and advice/suggestions from those out there. I'm not sure. I just began seriously considering this. All I know is I love hearing back from everyone out there in regards to what I post about what's going on in my life. It's very uplifting and I like knowing I'm not alone in how I've felt in the past. I'm sure others, if they knew I was here, would appreciate my sincerity in sharing all of these emotions I've felt, and there's lots more than what I've just posted on here.

I keep a list of different topics that come to mind - topics that I could write so much about, not just a sentence or two. Sometimes I write down topics I'd like to research about, and write about to share with all of you. Writing is become much more of an anti-drug to me, much like music has become. I've missed it. And I don't want to stop.