Wednesday, November 16, 2005

If A Man Wants U

****Credit goes to Chris, a friend of mine, I found this on his page.****

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meantto be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find whatmakes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man wasnot treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like heis stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad atyourself a year later for staying when things are not better.The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of differentwomen. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speakup. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... evenif he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into aquasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man.If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.All men are NOT dogs. (Amen to that!!)You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a twoway street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cuteabout baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a newrelationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someonecomplimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if hedoesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,and you're always readily available to him ... he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.Hallelujah, thank you Jesus! Don't fully commit to a man whodoesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.Share this with other ladies ... You'll make someone smile, anotherrethink her choices, and another woman prepare. They say it takes aminute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day tolove them and an entire lifetime to forget them...
Friday, September 30, 2005

Nights I Ponder....

In the beginning it all seemed clear,
I thought everything made sense.
Then I relaxed, cooled down, and realized,
Nothing keeps me from being tense.

The past continues to haunt me.
I wish it wouldn't so bad.
New faces and familiar places soothe me.
Why can't I get rid of the sad?

Overcoming obstacles and depressing times,
Wishing for a different tomorrow,
What's to come of this life, these days...
I wish for so much more, want no more sorrow.
Saturday, September 10, 2005

Burning Bright

"Burning Bright"

I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright
I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation

[CHORUS (2)]
There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines its not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason

[CHORUS (2)]
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The past few months have been really rough....and if you know me, you know why. Everything seemed to be going downhill every time I thought things just might be looking up.....not that they were anyone else's fault. A great deal of them were all mine - whether I actually did things or my mind was just set on the low things in my life.

The move here was a big transition for me, new people, old friends, new home, and just familiarizing myself with everything around here again. It felt great. Of course, within the first couple of weeks, I made a few mistakes, or things came back and bit me in the ass, again - my fault.

Last night was a great night for me. I realized that everything happens for a reason and everything was looking up for me, in lots of ways. New year - new things to come.
Tonight's plans were originally to go up to Chapel Hill to see Angie Aparo play @ the Local 506....those definitely fell thru for several reasons - it was a spontaneous thing I came up with at work yesterday, desperate to get out of Charlotte....I just feel like driving sometimes. But then again, there was also another reason I was going up there - to see my old friend Tyler who I havent' seen for years! (literally..) I met him back in 3rd grade and he and I have kept in touch so much over the years. I'd love to see him. Of course, as usual, there's always next time, whenever that will be.

Imagine this. I went to a frat party last night, and only stayed like for 20 min. and didn't have one bit of alcohol last night! Aren't you proud?? I got to see a lot of familiar faces that I hadn't seen since I'd been back though, that felt good....

I actually have to get going on some work, yes college is back in session = work. I have to get some done today so I am not stuck with EVERYTHING tomorrow. I wonder whats up for tonight.............;)
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What I've been through will not change.What I've done I cannot forgive.Can I have another chance at this life....another chance to just live?

My sorrow has lasted so long...scarred and surrendered my body to so much.It is time to close that chapter and move on.The longing for a new touch.....

One night has made all the difference.Realizing everything I'd overcome, and everything I've hated.The person I was back then, someone I don't want to know....the exact person that's been completely jaded.

TO BE CONTINUED.....