Saturday, May 23, 2009

Avoiding The Baggage

Again, I'm responding through my blog to another person's blog regarding the mentioning of ex's in describing things you've done, or things that come to your mind while dating or in a newer relationship.

Interesting topic since my boyfriend and I have talked about this recently :) So I can definitely relate.

I've always shared too much, regardless of what it may be, but I watch myself around certain people, just depending on how sensitive the topic is to them involving me. For the first time, I have shared everything about my past with someone, with my significant other, my boyfriend, Mike. I like being completely honest with him. There's some things I'm sure I've yet to tell him but when those come up, I"ll share them with him. He and I have shared so much with eachother, mentioning names with them all, and it just helps us know at what period in our lives we did those things, or felt certain ways based on who we were with, and at what age we were when we were with those people.

Even if it makes me jealous to hear who he did what with, and who he shared a special moment with, at least I know what kind of person he was during those times, and I know part of his history, what brought him here to me. We've both changed in our current relationship but we also have talks about what other relationships brought to our lives, and what they really made us see and feel. To me, it's the healthiest relationship I've ever had. Some things don't want to be shared, of course, and we respect that about each other, but, other times, it's helped us both to share detailed events because they were important to us and are still in our memory.

I understand why people do not like mentioning ex's in their current or they won't mention them in their future relationships, but at the same time, those relationships made you who you are today, and have shaped you in ways you may have noticed, or may not have noticed, and that person you will share everything with should know the impact they've had just to be aware of the person you were, and the person you've become. Thats my personal opinion of course, and, I hope people are open to sharing more with their significant other someday.

To be honest, I haven't always been the strong woman I feel like today. I have my low days, don't get me wrong, but I also have moments where I realize how much just even in the last year that I have grown, thanks to my current relationship. I'm not blind, and I'm not ignorant, I don't think this will NEVER end, there's always the chance of that, so I always have support outside of my current relationship. My point is, for the time being, I'm happy. If this happens to last the rest of my life, I'm thrilled, if not, I'll get through it when that times comes and it will add onto my strength and experiences in life. I just feel if I'm going to be completely with someone, they should know who I am completely.

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