Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Doubting

This past weekend up until last night was pretty amazing. Mike and I got to spend so much time together :)

He took me to his hometown, Vale, to see places he grew up and met some people he hadn't seen in years. It meant the world to me. I think he mentioned me being the first girlfriend he ever brought up that way, which made me smile even more!

After I got home last night, he and I were talking on the phone, and being realistic, how he and I weren't certain of each other, but could definitely see us getting married someday, but that doesn't mean we'll be together forever. . . because death does happen. We're not guaranteed another day together ever.

The thing that worries me, and always had with us, is that someday, he'll realize his feelings have changed about me, and only want to be friends, or, want to end things because he doesn't feel the same way about me. . . that is my biggest fear. The fact that it's already been a little over two months and we're having discussions like we are, means the world to me, but also scares me that things have been going so well so fast with us, that the flame might burn out quicker than expected.

It's been in my head since he said that last night that the next day he or I could wake up and wonder why we are with the other person and realize we just want to be friends. And he has done that before with ex girlfriends; he and the girl will decide that one day and then next time they hang out he can simply switch it to be just friends. I don't know if I could do that. We've never just been friends. That's what I think made me hesitant about cutting ties with Eric. If Mike is thinking about the doubting parts, what does that mean?He keeps saying he doesn't want me to take it the wrong way that he's not certain of us but he could see us getting married, isn't that contradictory?

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