Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Gizmo, Rest In Peace

Yesterday was probably the hardest day I've had to experience in quite some time. Although there are times where I've imagined my dog dying, I never imagined it would happen like it did. I thought it might happen naturally eventually since he was already 14, had trouble seeing/hearing occassionally. . . . but that's not how it happened.

Yesterday morning I got a text from my mom on my cell phone requesting me to call her whenever I could. I looked online and she had emailed me to; I just had woken up so I knew something was up because she NEVER texts me. She's not a big fan of it.

I called her back to see what was going on. As I hear her crying over the phone, I begged her to tell me what was wrong, but she said she couldn't over the phone, that I'd have to come home sometime that day to find out, so I thought it wouldn't be anything that bad becuase she said I didn't have to come right then. I rushed and showered and got ready, and drove home fast, with all these horrible thoughts in my mind as to what might have happened.

As I drive up and park in front of my house, I see my mom bringing something to the mailbox, and I knew it must've been something bad because she started crying and breaking down again. And she grabbed me and told me the news. I was in shock for a few minutes as our neighbor Jeanne came over to console with us. Right after she left, I broke down, I lost it. I am still processing it, although I spent most of the day yesterday with my mom, sister and brother, spending time together remembering him. We even went to the shelter becuase we had to see some dogs/puppies, but it kept breaking us down. We didnt plan on getting one anyways, but we just wanted that familiar presence. We weren't going to make any moves without my dad being there because this is a family choice. We thought about getting a different dog other than what Gizmo was, a lhasa opso, but we honestly believe thats what we need, what we're used to.
We hated that he had to be in NY all day doing work stuff, later come to find out he had trouble concentrating that entire day because of all that happened that morning. He called us later from the NY airport telling us more about what happened and telling us that he had trouble doing everything that day becuase that was the main thing on his mind all day. He got home last night after we all had gone back our separate ways, but tonight Ill be going back to see him, because I cannot believe all he did. It shocked us he'd do mouth to mouth, I don't even know if I'd have done that.....

He is the one that let my dog out that morning, as we always do, each and every morning. My dad had to go to NY for work that day so he went about his business getting ready, realized it was time to let Gizmo back inside, and he couldn't find him, and that's when he spotted him floating in the pool. He pulled him out in enough time to where he was still alive, did mouth to mouth on him (now that's love...because that dog had horrible breath), and got some water out, but he kept doing mouth to mouth, and realized after doing it a few more times that he had died. In his words, he noticed it when Gizmo's eyes were just still looking at him. It's hard to type this out thinking back, but it helps too. I haven't cried yet today, although I've wanted to. I can't wait to go home tonight becuase while I'm at my apartment, somewhere Gizmo was never at, it's hard. I'd rather be at home where I can picture him and remember being with him so much.
I don't like when people are just like 'oh its just a pet, everyone loses pets,' because pets become members of your family. He was 14 years old, I'd had him growing up, since I was 7. My family tells me we had a couple dogs before then, but I don't have memories with those like I do Gizmo.
The really thing that frustrates me is my Aunt Sandra. We got Gizmo from her becuaes two of her dogs were Gizmo's parents. She gave him to us because we needed/wanted another dog, especially a lhasa opso. We loved those. She and my mom havent' been on great terms sinec their mom, my grandmother, died a few years ago. Disputes over her house, keeping it up, reselling it, letting my mom have it, and so on adn so forth.

My mom must've emailed her to tell her the news about Gizmo, and of course, you'd think despite all their disputes and everything they've been thru since my grandmother's death, she'd be consoling us, with all her heart, especially because she knows we loved gizmo and she did to. NOT AT ALL -- this shows someones' true character. She wrote my mom back blaming/criticizing her. I mean, what kind of person does that?!?! My mom wrote me this morning saying 'I no longer have a sister, nor you an aunt. Do not communicate with her. Its over, it ends today. Let's let Gizmo go in peace.' - atleast something along those lines and I just cannot believe I'm related to someone like her. You know how badly I want to give her a piece of my mind? That just disgusts me.And to think, she's the last connectoin I have on my mom's side of the family. Her only sibling. Of course I have a cousin, cousin's wife, cousin's daughter that I'd love to stay in touch with, but I guess thats not possible now. Who knows what will happen? I just hope we get through this time ok.

People these days. . . . . . they can surely surprise you